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Season 7

Alice

1982
Episodes: 23

Episodes

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1. Sorry, Wrong Lips

October 6, 1982

30 min

Debbie Reynolds plays an actress whose torrid memoirs convince Mel he's the one she remembers as the greatest kisser in her life.

Guest Stars: Lucille Benson, Elvia Allman, Debbie Reynolds

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2. Do You Take . . . ?

October 13, 1982

30 min

Mel tries to outdo an old buddy who shows up boasting a track record of fast living and sporting a blonde on his arm as proof.

Guest Stars: Jerry Stiller

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3. The Secret of Mel's Diner

October 20, 1982

30 min

There's gold in them there walls, or so Mel reckons after learning that the eccentric who built his diner left $20,000 stashed in another building.

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4. Alice at the Palace

October 27, 1982

30 min

Joel Grey offers his services gratis as the leading man in a musical revue bankrolled by Mel and featuring Alice. Mel, however, has never heard of Grey and gives the role to his bookie.

Guest Stars: Joel Grey, Susan George

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5. Joel Grey Saves the Day

November 3, 1982

30 min

Joel Grey walks out after producer Mel turns a revue about New York into a desert musical with tunes like ""Two Tootsies from Tucson"" and ""Ramona from Arizona.""

Guest Stars: Joel Grey

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6. Alice's Turkey of a Thanksgiving

November 10, 1982

30 min

Alice's meddlesome mother knocks the stuffing out of her daughter's Thanksgiving dinner.

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7. Carrie on the Rebound

January 9, 1983

30 min

Carrie is slow to come out of a depression after a quickie divorce.

Guest Stars: Martha Raye, Mykelti Williamson, Dave Madden

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8. Jolene's Brother Jonas

January 16, 1983

30 min

Jolene's brother pays a surprise visit, but the surprise is on him, he gets an icy reception from his sister.

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9. Alice Sees the Light

February 28, 1983

30 min

Everyone takes with a grain of salt Alice's claim that she saw a UFO.

Guest Stars: Lucille Benson, Elvia Allman, Tony Longo

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10. Vera the Virtuoso

March 7, 1983

30 min

Vera, whose cello playing can reduce a virtuoso to tears, is asked to play in a local string quartet.

Guest Stars: Frank Aletter, Paul Sand

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11. Alice Faces the Music

March 14, 1983

30 min

The waitresses pit their musical knowledge against that of three plumbers on a TV quiz show.

Guest Stars: Susan Tolsky, John McCook

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12. Tommy, the Jailbird

March 21, 1983

30 min

Alice fears that freshman Tommy is abusing his new freedom away from home by majoring in extracurricular activities.

Guest Stars: Robert Picardo

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13. Jolene and the Night Watchman

March 28, 1983

30 min

Jolene can't bring herself to bruise the tender feelings of a bruiser who saved her life and now considers her his girl.

Guest Stars: Daniel Greene

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14. Mel's Dream Car

April 11, 1983

30 min

Mel is stripping his gears over his jazzy new Porsche he purchased for a measly $20.

Guest Stars: Cassandra Peterson, Dave Madden

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15. Come Back Little Sharples

April 17, 1983

30 min

Mel has had it up to his keister with the way things are going so he absconds to his apartment for a beer and pizza binge.

Guest Stars: Martha Raye

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16. Vera, the Torch

April 24, 1983

30 min

Vera wishes her landlady the worst for evicting her pets then feels responsible when the old crank's apartment catches on fire.

Guest Stars: Robert Picardo, Dave Madden

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17. The Grass is Always Greener

May 1, 1983

30 min

In role reversals, Mel becomes an employee by accepting an executive position with a catering firm, and the waitresses become owners by buying his diner.

Guest Stars: Joy Garrett, Richard Deacon

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18. Tommy Fouls Out

May 15, 1983

30 min

Afraid that he's lost the ""right stuff,"" Tommy quits the basketball team.

Guest Stars: Meadowlark Lemon, Dave Madden

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19. Vera on the Lam

May 22, 1983

30 min

After Mel decides to have the waitresses bonded, Vera owns up to a criminal past and takes it on the lam.

Guest Stars: Carol Arthur, Dave Madden

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20. Mel's Cousin Wendy?

May 29, 1983

30 min

To steal a competitor's secret sauce recipe, Mel persuades his cousin to pose as a woman and apply for a job as a Burger Baby.

Guest Stars: David Rounds

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21. Sweet Erasable Mel

June 5, 1983

30 min

Mel's experiment with a computer goes well until Vera enters a transaction and erases every trace of Mel's financial existance.

Guest Stars: Richard Moll, Howard Morton

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22. Tommy Hyatt, Business Consultant

June 12, 1983

30 min

Using Tommy's marketing advice, Mel increases his business but also learns he's heading for bankruptcy.

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23. Jolene Lets the Cat Out of the Bag

September 18, 1983

30 min

Jolene's hair is standing on end with a cat burglar prowling her neighborhood.

Guest Stars: Dean Devlin, Doug Sheehan

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