The Magnificent Eleven

John Chard: Malignant more like! The Magnificent Eleven of the title are a bunch of boozy amateur league footballers, they are so bad that scoring one goal is seen as the equal of winning the World Cup! Unfortunately because they are so bad they can’t get sponsorship and are about to fold. That is until a raucous night at the local Indian takeaway results in the saving of the team. But lurking around with menace is local thug American Bob, who along with his henchman are putting the squeeze on the restaurant for protection money owed. Paul Barber is the manager, Keith Allen is the captain and Sean Pertwee is the star player! That’s enough for British film fans to know just what sort of film this is. In truth in spite of its snazzy cast list, it’s not very good, the attempt at making a play on The Magnificent Seven, with Robert Vaughn turning up as American Bob, never really works. However, for football fans, and especially those that have played Sunday league footie, there is charm to be found and some genuine laugh out loud moments. Only a Sunday league player in Britain could understand why a team called Real Sociopath is genius funny. A select audience only for this one, non Brits need not apply. 5/10