The Fable of the 'People's Choice Who Answered the Call of Duty and Took Seltzer' (1914)

The political bosses knew it was an off year and they needed a Goat to run for City Clerk. They didn't want a regular guy to get "stepped on," so they started out to find a Fish. They found a nice man who ran a feed store and had lots of coin, so they pounced on him. Mr. Bolivar was his name and he drank malted milk and said "whom" and did everything that was nice. They jollied him until he really thought that he was the man for the position, and when his wife tried to save the poor simp, he only said he must answer the call of duty, that the Peepul wanted him. He sometimes wondered if the other fellow would get any votes at all. Little by little the bosses were drawing on his bank account, and on the night of election he was broke. He lost the fight by 20,000 votes, and when he looked for his pushers, they had skipped.