The Baby Juice Express (2004)

"One false move and the sperm gets it!"

A middle class London lad’s gangster fantasies go awry when his dodgy uncle puts them into debt to a real life crime boss. Still pulling strings from behind bars, the kingpin’s only desire is to conceive an heir by smuggling his sperm to his wife on the outside. There’s only one way the boys know how to raise the money fast … hijack the ‘baby juice express’. But kidnapping ‘baby juice’ turns out to be fraught with even more peril than the bumbling wannabes could possibly have imagined in this cheeky spin on the gangster genre. Starring Nick Moran (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels), with Julian Clary (one of Britain’s funniest) and Joe Bugner (former boxing champion and one of Australia’s toughest!).